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Being self-sufficient leads to isolation, and isolation doesn't work as we grow older.
It can be self-perpetuating and lead to the fearful depressive state in which you find yourself. Companies like Solitair (01612 340080), Saga (0800 414444) or Just You (08) specialise in well-organised, single travel for all ages and offer a terrific range of destinations, from weekends in Spain to spa holidays in India.
You can find someone to teach you how, or go to classes.
Your grandchildren almost certainly only communicate by email and text and will happily stay in touch with you if you start emailing them. With Skype – a free internet service – you can communicate with them via computer, even face to face.
I am sure that your legal, financial and practical problems have contributed to your exhaustion. We need kindness and laughter and companionship in our daily lives. You will make new friends, as well as gain a fresh perspective on your life and a boost to your health and spirits.
We need new things to do and companions to do them with. And when you are at home again, think hard about how you want your life to be. Tell your neighbours that you're bored of walking your dog on your own and see if someone would like to come with you. Consciously make an effort to pursue an interest through a day or evening class. Unless you are committed to a rural way of life, think seriously about making your next move to a livelier town where there will be social and cultural opportunities.
I am an only child and have no brothers or sisters of my own.
I am 72-years-old, twice married and a widow of a few years. When my second husband died, I had over four years of difficult legal and financial problems because of his self-made will.
I live in a large house in big grounds, and since my husband's death I have had to do an enormous amount of restoration and maintenance.