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SLAA, Sex and Love addicts Anonymous is a 12-step sex addiction recovery program that encourages female participation and offers many gender separate meetings.
The Ranch, a residential treatment center in Nunnelly, Tennessee offers private, gender separate residential treatment for female sex addicts.
Some of these women unconsciously live out their early abuse by becoming sex workers (i.e.
prostitutes, strippers, involved in porn, sensual massage, etc.), attempting to give themselves a sense of ‘control’ over early experiences.
Though Mary had a highly physically and emotionally abusive home environment, she had not previously sought out treatment or therapy nor did she relate her problem adult sexual and romantic history to early childhood abuse.
She told her therapist that she had always believed that “by marrying the right guy, I could just put the past behind me, when Jeff came along – I thought I was safe” Just after her first child was born, Mary began sexual/romantic affairs with both a neighbor and separately, a co-worker, believing then that her marriage had become boring and she needed these other experiences to feel “more alive.” In addition to the stated ongoing sexual and romantic liaisons over the past several years, Mary has been signing onto Craigslist in search of other lovers and casual sex whenever she or her husband are out of town for work.
While we know that women act out additively with food, drugs, alcohol, gambling spending and caretaking, the truth is .
But what about women who ‘act out’ with sex and romance?Do you feel you need to hide these activities from others – friends, family, co-workers, counselors, etc.? Do you get “high” from sex and/or romance and then crash when the act or experience is over? Have you had sex at inappropriate times, in inappropriate places, and/or with inappropriate people? Do you make promises to yourself or rules for yourself concerning your sexual or romantic behavior that you find you cannot follow? Have you had or do you have sex with someone you don’t (didn’t) want to have sex with? Have you ever thought that there might be more you could do with your life if you were not so driven by sexual and romantic pursuits? Do you feel desperate about your need for a lover, sexual fix, or future mate? Have you or do you have sex regardless of the consequences (e.g.the threat of being caught, the risk of contracting herpes, gonorrhea, AIDS, etc.)? Do you find that you have a pattern of repeating bad relationships? Do you feel like a lifeless puppet unless there is someone around with whom you can flirt?Even the woman whose sexual and romantic behaviors are causing her profound problems (health, family, relationship, career, etc.) is not likely to identify as having a problem, she is more likely to use terms like, “I have relationship issues” or “I tend to pick the wrong partners.” Because women more often see and experience sexuality in more relational terms then do men – even when a woman is having sex in the same ways and frequency as a male sex addict often won’t identify as having herself as having .
While the primary etiology of male sexual addiction is mostly based in early emotional neglect, covert parental incest and early attachment deficits – female sex addicts report much greater incidences of profound, overt childhood abuse, physical neglect and trauma – often sexual, which leads to sex addiction and intimacy issues in later life.
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