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We both didn’t want a relationship, but after a few weeks, I started to have feelings for him, and he’d made it clear he didn’t want to be involved with anyone. A few days later, I sat with some girlfriends over lunch, and told them my painful tale. I thought that by being single for all of that time, I’d been taking an opportunity to work on myself, get comfortable with being alone, and enjoy my life without a partner until I was ready to date again.
Even with my friends’ willingness to help out with child care, every night out was a scramble to set up who could watch my kids and when I had to be home by their bedtime. My older daughter was away for a few days after Christmas, and he asked me to go out of town with him. I needed so desperately to get a break from my day-to-day life of working at home. “I gave him an out,” I said to my friend a couple of days later while wallowing through the sixth season of “Parenthood.” “Why did you give him an out? I wanted to escape for an hour or two in between some flirty distractions without worrying about whether he’ll be a supportive, healthy, future partner. I had two very real kids at home who came first, took up most of my time and energy, and I didn’t have much to give.“Maybe I should set up an online dating account to help me get over him,” I said. After a day on the site, I had three dates on the calendar. Asking a man out on a date, or accepting one, wasn’t just 90 minutes over a beer, sharing the anecdotes that would make us attractive enough to make out with each other.